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There is only one member of the crew who hasn’t yet been between her thighs and that is the ship’s cook, Haig Pawthorn. He is a damn fine cook, ev...n if a little different...”“How different?” I was concerned to be eating food prepared by someone thought to be ‘different’.“Most sea cooks are large, bellicose, men, who shout and curse a lot. Haig is a slender, diminutive sort of fellow, who speaks softly and seldom. He does not smoke a pipe, chew tobacco, drink alcohol, curse, blaspheme, spit,. “Me Chief. Sleep with all women. Big, small, fat, tall.”Horrified, the female reporter said; “You ought to be hung!”The Chief said, “Damn right. Me hung big like buffalo, long like snake”The offended reporter said, “You don’t have to be hostile!”The Chief replied, “Hoss-style, dog-style, wolf-style, any style!”The reporter cried, “Oh, dear!”“No deer,” said the Chief. “Ass too high; run too fast.”✧ ✧ ✧An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h in 30,000. She knows I’m crazy about her brother, the big dummy, but jeez! She tells me that she wants to come over tomorrow, she needs to talk to me about something. So, today I go through the day in a haze, still bugged about this crap with Brendan. I get home, Mom’s at work, Daddy’s nowhere to be found, Ryan’s at basketball practice. I just microzap myself a Hot Dog and Bree shows up at the door. But wowzers! Bree’s decked out to the 9’s, she has her hair all done up and her makeup looks like she had. Peering within the jar all was dark like the sea where the whales dwelled. But then something caught a glint of light. When she tilted the jar to see better, it rolled across the bottom and clicked against the side. With a little reluctance she reached into the jar, not wishing to spill the precious liquid over the edges. With the tips of her fingers she touched a smooth little ball. It rolled away and it took some stirring to find it again. As she held it delicately, yet firmly enough to draw.
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