It just turned me on so much! Over time, I started to see pictures of the men sucking the shemales - oh my god! Once I saw that - those beautiful bodi...s, the stiff cocks, and the men taking them in their mouths, I knew what I wanted. It started with buying a tube of Maybelline lipstick. Just opening the tube and turning it, watching the very red lipstick rise, made me hard immediately. When I touched the tip of the lipstick to my lips, I was harder than I had been in years. This is what I had. So what’s it to do with me?”She stared at me in shock. “You have your life back! You’re clear! You’re free!”“I have a life already. I am clear. I am free. What else do I have? No publications, a year lost, probably vicious rumors despite everything.” I shrugged. “Poisoned chalice, really.”“Bullshit. You had a setback, so you’ll crawl off like a whipped dog?”“Maybe I don’t want to go back. Cloud cuckoo land? Too unreal.”She glanced at my coffee table. “Finally tasting the grit of real life, no. ‘At least you’ve had a chance at life,’ she said with sadness. ‘What chance have I had living here in this abandoned, burnt down, Hell hole of a city? Every day there’s a dozen fires. Every day there’s a dozen shootings. Every day someone dies and no one cares,’ she said with sadness as if she was saying some words at the death of a friend or relative. ‘With all of us desensitized to crime, devastation, poverty, and destruction, after working all day for not enough pay, we’re all too tired to. I would think about how I would handle a cock once I had it in my hand. When the opportunity presented itself I truly panicked. I didn't now what to do and begged off and left totally confused. I had yet to suck my first cock and I was not certain if I could. Finally I decided it was the fish or cut bait deal. I worked in the service industry, specifically installing furnaces and such. I was in the city and had time to kill and visited a regular book store. It wasn't a porn store but did have.
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