My head spins atthis whole situation that I feel physically dizzy. Most days it'sconfusing balancing the two worlds. To compress the two seems almosti...possible. It's hard to reconcile these two parts of me. It's a luxuryfor people who are certain of their assigned gender.Over the last few months, I've peeked out through the cracked door andeven let the light illuminate me from time to time. But I've mostlystayed in the closet. I wish I could just swing it wide open and sashaymy pretty booty. We mingled and laughed, had many cups of red wine and a few much harder spirits; which loosened me up a great deal.After a couple hours I noticed one of my coworkers, Freddie, was looking at me from across the room. He smiled when I saw him and I winked back, sending him a quick kiss into the air. He seemed to be alone there; it was strange he had not brought his sweet wife with him. He was chatting up some of our coworkers.We flirted back and forth across the room for about half an hour, until. As she was breastfeeding the baby, Sailu asked me to wait for a moment to open the door. When she came to open the door, I am astonished to see her glowing face and radiant skin tone. Her very soft cheeks turned to red with her overwhelming smile. She lost all the weight gained during pregnancy except post pregnant belly, and heavy bouncing milky tankers, pointing out the wet milk spots on nipples from the bra-less cotton night dress.I can say that she was so happy to see me. This time, I am. As she went back inside, you came out and held each other’s upper arms as we had this Gaelic kiss though this time, with your hands holding my arms quite firmly, leaned forward and gave you a kiss on the lips too. Your eyes had widened at me doing this but didn’t remark on it till after you had gone back inside and brought out two drinks, one which you handed to me as we sat down on the small two seater settee. ‘Did you mean to kiss me?’ he asked in a low voice after taking a sip from his.
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