Somehow, Ifound that erotic.I saw one book "All the Ways Homosexuals Make Love." I bought it. Theclerk smirked at me. I blushed.Maybe you don't feel s...rry for me. That's not my desire here. It's tomake you understand the yearning and the self-denial of my life. Fear isa powerful thing. I pray others do not emulate me. I was afraid of me. Ididn't want to be gay. I didn't want be girly.On the other hand, it was all I wanted.There was the day that Adam, old macho Adam, took me to lunch and. I quickly asked him if i could do the same and take a magazine home. I was wishing he would agree, so then i would be able to lay in my bed, looking at the pictures while i masturbated.Tony made me promise that i return the magazine the next day, so as his brother doesn't notice them missing, then i would be allowed to take one home. I would promise anything so as to be able to take the magazine home.I quickly left Tony's place with one of the magazines rolled up under my arm and rushed home. He went on to explain that his wife was in the next room along and as soon as Gustav went in his room I slowly moved towards her door before gently tapping on it. I braced myself just in case I was in for a shock.Indeed I was. She must have been early thirties and as fit as fuck. Although she had a bath robe on I could see her body was slim and she had a beautiful face. She beckoned for me to go in. I wasn't too sure if she could hear the trembling in my voice as I followed instructions. I changed quickly and went to class.Next day I called her and ask if I should bring the books. She said yes I am OK now. She was waiting for me and gave me the key. We went to the bedroom as she needed to relax her legs. So she sat on the bed her back resting On the headboard.She told me to get the small table on the corner and sit opposite her.After a while my back was paining. She told me if you want you can come to bed with me. I sat next to her and Was about to open the book. That’s when It.
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