" Spare pills?" I gaped "You mean you didn't even need the ones thatwere missing? And you go and ruin my evening for that?" I said I was sorry," she r...torted "jeez, it's not as though you hadsomething special lined..."Rachel's voice trailed off as she saw the look on my face, it spokevolumes and told her all she needed to know."Oh no," she groaned "you did have something lined up." Not something, someone." I said sharply "A rather dishy and willingsomeone who doesn't happen to be on the phone,. For the first time in the last three or four weeks, I felt nothing.Two kinds of nothing were going on in that room. Mine was going to be far more painful in the end, but right now, she knew there was nothing she could say to make things right between us. I even got the feeling that she may not know how to make things right and that 'us' hadn't existed for a longer time than these last weeks.I turned and left, hearing her plead with me as I went out the door."Wait. Let me explain. PLEASE. "That would be me," Brian replied in a cocky tone. "And he will never let me forget it," I added. "Well, how long has it been since you last played?" John asked. "With your grandma, like 10 years ago, but with just each other, last night," I replied. They both nodded in what seemed like approval. "Well, when are you playing next?" Angelina asked. Brian and I looked at each other for a minute, with confused faces. "Why do you ask?" Brian asked. "Well, could we play with you sometime?". But you have never done them, like me." No, as I have said I have been lonely and just worked or read books or watched TV. Even though I never told anybody my sexuality, I could not deny it to myself. As you get older you need that contact with people, sexual release they call it. Because I had no one, I would either read a lesbian story or maybe watch some porn. Some stories can be quite extreme and describe the act of sex, which can be quite raw and also quite powerful. I believe that when we.
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