No, I don't know," I replied. "Look, Mom you might as well knoweverything."I explained to her that at first I dressed as a woman because it feltgood, ... didn't know why it did, it just did. Later when I reached pubertyand they bought me the playboy's I started to masturbate like any normalyoung boy but I would fantasize about being a woman, dressing in sexylingerie and being made love to by a man and that even today I still do.Lastly I told her that I have started to have feeling toward men, I. These aretears of joy." You're happy, so you're bawling?"Sniffing, she nodded through her tears.Women! I thought. Who could figure them?By the time Kirsten's flight was scheduled to depart, we hadn't kissed,but we'd made up. It was good to have my sibling back, even if she wasa sister now, instead of a brother, as before. I told her as much.She sniffled, still bleary-, if not teary-, eyed. "No sooner do wereconcile than we have to go our separate ways again." She hugged meclose, and I felt her. My being so eager to volunteer in Family Living, and my showing Patti upin English made things worse for me. Patti and the boys started by justcalling me names. Even though they hurt, I managed to get thru that. Thenthings started to happen to me. Somehow, someone had gotten tocombination to my locker and started leaving things in there. Like oneday I opened my locker and found a maxi pad in it with a note that said,in case you have an emergency and need this.One day I found a pair of panties. I wonder what else is different. I had a lot of reading ahead of me, poring through all my journals to see if there were any other changes to be aware of before my wife got home around 5 pm. I phoned the bookstore and told them I was sick and couldn't make it in.I browsed through the years from 2002 to 2011. I didn't find anything that seemed different except for a few entries about Josh. He had married and moved away but we occasionally got together when he returned to visit his folks. There.
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