” So I threw myself a pity party then I remember she had given me GRAPES! When I got home I could eat them. A small burst of joy went through me fol...owed by FUCK! I’m living a Ralphie May comedy routine.Ralphie May had a routine where he talked about how happy retarded people were because they are pleased by simple things. While non-retarded people were unhappy because nothing ever pleased them.He asked, “Do you know how to make a retarded person happy? A Scooby-Doo lunch box and if they find a. Then, it all came to a head one Saturday when Joanne was at a conference for the day. Mattie had just finished her lunch and had gotten up and walked away, leaving the dishes on the kitchen table."Hey, Mattie, please put your dishes in the dishwasher." Oh, fuck you and fuck the dishes," she screamed.I grabbed her, spun her around and pushed her down into the kitchen chair."That's enough, Mattie, I'm not going to take that kind of talk. You are going to show some respect to your mother and me or. I led the way upstairs. As I suspected, once they were out of the noise and crowd, they became excited about our little escape. Again, the thing was to keep moving so as to not allow second thoughts.I had no idea what to expect in the apartment. If it was decorated in bachelor caveman, then I was likely screwed. Whatever it was I had to appear like I had been there before, like I owned the place and belonged there. If I acted like I was exploring Tom Sawyer's cave, then they'd likely get. They would be coming back the next day to finish the downstairs.When I got home from work the next day, the contractor’s truck was still in the driveway. The name of the company is simply Brothers Carpet Installation, and they have a big, script logo on the side of the truck that reads BCI. When I walked in the front door there were two, tall black men about my age sitting on the couch with Sheila, and they looked vaguely familiar to me.Shelia looked up at me and said, “I’m so glad you’re home,.
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