('In the world, but not of it, ' my fanny.) He was just as receptive to them as before—which wasn't saying much, since he had merely been polite to ...hem before; but it still made her nervous, because it suggested nothing had changed. She wanted to talk to him about it... But a part of her quailed at the thought, terrified at uncovering the idea that this wonderful man was, perhaps, just not that into her. She didn't want to know that. It might be nicer to have the fantasy for a while. But after. There was something aboutit that screamed of otherworldly treasure. I pocketed it in my trunks.It would make for a good anniversary present tomorrow. Better than whatI already got her. I was saving up for her ring, though she wouldn'tneed to know for several weeks at least. Johanna and I had been througha lot within a year. The way we weathered the stress and rigors of lifehad led my thoughts about making us permanent. But for now, this willtide her over. I absentmindedly twiddled with it my. If she ever wanted to get with him, it would take time and planning, and she needed payback for her efforts immediately. With this her second option came to mind, Zachy, her twin brother. He was physically small, even smaller in stature than Jayla herself, and it was easy to tell he was not only a total sub, but also extremely kinky, likely willing to do anything taboo. Plus, she could think of several easy ways to get herself and Zachy into a situation where sex was a possibility, it would. We’re used to it. I once heard a tape by Ram Dass, an American spiritual teacher, in which he told of seeing a newspaper article about an abused baby being taken away from his mother. As a police matron tried to take the baby, he kept struggling to remain in his mother’s arms. Although his mother was the one who beat him, she was the one he knew. He was used to her. He wanted to remain in familiar territory.This story illustrates our relationship to our own egos. The ego is our pain, but it is.
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