Nobody should know that I am into exhibitionism. So I would dress provocative and expose my body as if it was by accident.At nights past midnight, I w...uld go to the balcony some days and strip naked and stay there for some time. If anybody is about to notice me, I would run back into the house. This one time I was almost caught by the neighborhood watchman.At midnight, I went to the balcony turned the lights off and removed my red nighty. Then I removed my bra and my panties. It was very cold. "Nice how, sweetheart?" Seductive," he said, and swallowed hard."All right," I said. "Then slather on the eye make-up. But'appropriate? For what? A wedding? Yours? Who's the groom?" I said this unhelpfully while nibbling on the shrimp souffle Jimhad made as an appetizer. He was spending more and more time in thekitchen during the week doing fancy things, maybe because he feltguilty that he was deceiving his wife with a paid mistress, maybebecause the hormones and the clothing and the. Okay, so when Mom's friends asked her, Peggy shouldn't have said that she had no idea who the father was; she could have blamed it on a runaway fiancee; Mom got angry and said that it made her sound so much like a whore - I know I have never used that kind of a language in here, and I hope you understand - that she was ashamed to call my sister her daughter."It's the ninth month, and I am starting to get afraid that we might not be there for my sister when her water breaks. Dad and I have. It is ok. You are safe." She held me close rocking me slowly as I clung to her. "I love you sis."As I looked into her green eyes I whispered softly, "Danny, I don't want to be scared anymore." She looked deep into my eyes. "I know he won't hurt me here. But I still get scared. But I also feel so many other things, things I am scared of even more. Even though I hated what he did, my body liked it sometimes. Danny, what I am trying to say is I am afraid of sex, but I need it so much it hurts. I.
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