Why do you hate me? Tell me...tell me... I can't stand it anymore; you're always so mean to me and all I do is love you and try to do everything I can... so tell me what you want me to do, so we don't have to do all this fighting and..." I could see her anger turn to sadness as her eyes filled.My 'new' self was immediately sorry and couldn't believe that I had got sucked in to say that. I touched her arm and said, "Don't cry Lorraine...mom. It's not your fault, it's mine." The strange words. In the end I shook my head no."Ok sweetie I'll wait, but only because I think your special, and I think we could have something really wonderful. Just promise me you won't kiss any other woman." That I can promise," I said laughing a bit."Or men for that matter," she said smiling, "have a good night."As I walked back to the dorms I felt strange. Part of me felt good, but another part felt sort of excited. I told myself it was nothing, that she and I could be just friends.A couple of days passed. I was still drunk, thatwine had been strong stuff and I felt hungry. Too late for food nowthough.Suddenly, I thought I heard something and sat bolt upright. Shivering, Itried to be as quiet as possible, and listened intently. Another noise,and it sounded like somene coming up the stairs! I started to panic,breathing heavily, as I prayed that they went away. My home, broken intoon New Year's? Perhaps he would take what he wanted and leave me alone ifI was quiet.My phone was downstairs, so I. They were working without pay and they were a sad lot. Most had lost their husbands, many their sons and fathers as well. At first they were suspicious of me, but when they discovered I was an American, they warmed. I chatted with them for a while, subtly interviewing each one to find the kind of personality and intellect I would need. The most likely candidate was a woman of about forty. She had been pretty once, but war and living on edge for years had taken their toll. She had lost both a.
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