She fully expected to make friends with people whose intellect matched hers, but very quickly she found out that was not to be. No one except her prof...ssors cared anything whatsoever about the book knowledge stored in her brain. Instead what mattered was that her social and conversational skills were non-existent. She could not talk about light topics at all and had no interest or knowledge of popular culture. She tended to be quiet, but suddenly would become emotional and have an opinionated. She felt a strange tingling sensation near her gut and assumed it had. Then she wrote down “Andy will tell John what happened and John will be okay with it. Andy will still love John and John will share him with me”. Those loose ends tied up, Clara began to write another fantasy. She stopped halfway through. Was this right? She was fucking with people’s lives. But, Andy hadn’t seemed unhappy and as long as she fixed things so that everyone was okay it was fine. Clara knew she was making. ..I don't want to stop! What am I going to do? I amnot a girl, I am a boy! How am I going to go to school?"Mother said, "Sweetie, I know it's all new and confusing. But we willfigure it out together, OK? In the meantime, why don't you run upstairsand get changed. Put on the nightie that I gave you. And when you comeback down, we will take your polish off and trim your nails a bit, butwe will still leave them a little long, ok? And when you come home fromschool tomorrow, the first thing. But she had to bite her lip. "Ok," she said. "But youare a prick". She was smiling as she said it, but she meant it. Thehell with her. If I was going to go through with this it needed to beworthwhile. Without me she would not have the job. With me onboard wecould go places.We had some time to get me ready, and we needed it. It was not myappearance that was the problem, it was as I said - if I said nothingand did not move I was Ok. I did not carry myself as a woman. It wasthat way I.
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