“What do you mean,” Ann said, “like lesbians you mean?”“Oh god Annie where have you been,” Julia laughed. “I’m not a lesbian just beca...se l have fun with other women, just like Steve isn’t gay because he plays with other men, it’s just for fun Annie, sex is fun. I tell you what Annie, you loosen up a bit and there is a whole new exciting world out there and don’t tell me your body isn’t telling you to, l bet you’re wet now.”Ann looked at her friend, her face bright red.“Put your seat back,”. It only served to make her more beautiful, more desirable, than she already was. She took another quick glance in my direction. Rich auburn hair swinging across her shoulders. She raised her eyebrows, signifying her displeasure at being kept waiting. Maybe he wasn't going to make it after all! I smiled in mock sympathy. She noticed, and returned the favour. I closed my eyes and imagined what it would be like to slowly undress her; to run my hands and lips over those wonderful breasts; to sink. She saw it then, in his eyes and his face. Horror. Shame. Self-loathing. A deep, heartbreaking apology for what he’d done, and what he would still do. After… hurt… sick. Crazed, he’d said as he lay wounded. Not… self. Hurt. Don’t… let… hurt. The Gnari girl didn’t understand, not truly. But she saw that on some level, he was not fully in control. He was fighting himself. Fighting against some deeply insistent, primal side of himself that was driven by carnal need. He fought against it because he. Finally, I couldn’t stand it any longer and I dismissed the class early mumbling something about not feeling well. By the time I gathered up all the student papers and put everything away, the parking lot was empty except for the SUV. As I walked up to the vehicle, the rear door swung open and all I could see was Katie’s hand and her finger motioning me to come inside. The interior was not completely dark as she had placed her flashlight on the floor to provide a subdued light. She was.
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