Uesday, April 17, 2007I woke up after my usual brief sleep, and lay in bed using my downstairs study's computer to browse the news networks' websites,...primarily the print media because the TV networks use sound too much and, as I believe I've mentioned, I can't get goddamn sound blobs to work. The most important consequence of my activities yesterday was that Jonathon Winters was now a VERY busy guy. He now had a large office building, many people helping him, etc. The "Make a Shortlist of. It hurt me for a while but I got over it. If he didn't want me, there were plenty of other guys who did.I missed my period in December and again in January and I knew why. My life seemed to be spiraling out of control. I was smoking over a pack of cigarettes a day, smoking pot and drinking every day, shoplifting whenever I wanted something, doing Ecstasy every weekend at parties and at times snorting coke just to keep up with Rachael and all the demands from guys wanting sex.I couldn't go. If he was having thoughts then he wasn’t dead.‘Get up,’ he thought. ‘Get up, get up, get up!’ he thought wildly, repeating his incantation. The soft, melodic, beautiful notes continued to play in his head, coming to a crescendo, playing louder and louder internally as the music reached its peak, it picked up, grew beautifully louder and more magnificent. It blurred out all the white noise of the crowds roaring and chanting.He became aware again. The distant sounds of the audience cheering came. Trying to put her at ease, I took her into my arms and said ‘Great! I’ll be there. I’ve wandered what you girls do together.’ This just seemed to make her even more frightened. ‘Be at the house at 9:00 AM and wear your best suit.’ That Saturday I was met at the door by Leslie. She was wearing a low cut evening gown in a deep shade of blue. ‘Before you come in I need you to promise me two things. First, that no matter what happens you’ll just go along with it. Second, you’ll never tell anyone.
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